Preparing for labor and delivery can feel overwhelming, especially for first-time parents. While childbirth classes and online resources cover the basics, there are some lesser-known aspects of the experience that can catch you off guard. Here are 12 things no one tells you about labor and delivery to help expecting parents feel more prepared and informed.
1. Labor Can Start in Unexpected Ways
You might picture labor starting with dramatic water breaking, like in the movies, but it’s not always so clear-cut. For many, labor begins with mild contractions that feel like period cramps or even back pain. Sometimes, your water doesn’t break until you’re well into labor—or it may not break on its own at all, requiring your healthcare provider to intervene. Be ready for a range of possibilities and trust your body’s signals.
2. The Waiting Game Can Be Intense
Even when labor starts, it can take hours—or even days—before active labor kicks in. Early labor can involve irregular contractions that stop and start, leaving you wondering if “this is it.” Patience is key, and staying relaxed with activities like walking, napping, or watching a favorite show can help you cope during this phase.
3. You Might Not Feel in Control
Labor is unpredictable, and even the most detailed birth plan may need adjustments. Contractions, medical interventions, or unexpected complications can make you feel like things are spiraling. It’s normal to feel vulnerable, but having a supportive partner, doula, or medical team can help you regain a sense of empowerment.
4. Pain Management Options Vary Widely
Epidurals are often discussed, but there are other options like nitrous oxide, IV pain meds, or non-medical techniques such as hydrotherapy, breathing exercises, or massage. What works for one person may not work for another, and your preferences might change mid-labor. Discuss all options with your provider ahead of time to feel confident in your choices.
5. You’ll Likely Make Sounds You Didn’t Expect
Labor can bring out primal noises—grunts, moans, or even roars—as your body works through contractions. This is completely normal and can actually help you cope with pain. Don’t worry about being “ladylike”; your medical team has heard it all before.
6. The Hospital Environment Might Surprise You
Hospitals can be busy, noisy places, and you may not get the serene birthing suite you imagined. Beeping monitors, frequent check-ins by nurses, and shared recovery rooms are common. Packing comfort items like a sleep mask, earplugs, or a favorite playlist can make the environment feel more soothing.
7. Your Birth Team Is Your Lifeline
Your midwives, doctors, nurses, or doula are there to guide you, but they’re also human and working in a high-pressure environment. Building a good rapport with your team and clearly communicating your needs can make a huge difference. Don’t hesitate to ask questions or advocate for yourself.
8. Postpartum Shaking Is Normal
After delivery, you might experience intense shaking or chills, even if you feel fine otherwise. This is often due to hormonal shifts and the physical exertion of labor. Warm blankets and reassurance from your medical team can help, and the shaking usually subsides within an hour.
9. The First Bowel Movement After Birth Can Be Daunting
Between possible stitches, swelling, or hemorrhoids, the idea of your first postpartum poop can feel intimidating. Staying hydrated, eating fiber-rich foods, and using stool softeners (if recommended by your doctor) can ease this process. Take your time, and don’t be embarrassed to ask for help if needed.
10. You Might Not Bond Instantly with Your Baby
The “love at first sight” moment isn’t universal. Exhaustion, pain, or the whirlwind of emotions can delay that immediate connection, and that’s okay. Bonding often grows over time through feeding, cuddling, and caring for your baby. Be gentle with yourself as you adjust.
11. Recovery Can Be More Challenging Than Expected
While you’re focused on labor, the postpartum period can bring its own surprises. Soreness, bleeding (lochia), and emotional ups and downs are common. Plan for support at home—whether it’s a partner, family, or postpartum doula—so you can focus on healing and bonding with your baby.
12. Every Labor Story Is Unique
No two labors are the same, even for the same person. Comparing your experience to others’ can lead to unnecessary worry. Whether your labor is fast, slow, medicated, or unmedicated, it’s your story, and it’s valid. Celebrate your strength in bringing your baby into the world.
Final Thoughts
Labor and delivery are intense, transformative experiences, and knowing what to expect can help you feel more confident. Talk openly with your healthcare provider, pack a hospital bag with essentials, and lean on your support system. You’ve got this, and soon you’ll be holding your little one in your arms.